The Danger Of Muriel's Tea
by CourageEditor
Summary: Muriel's tea was thought unimportant, until this happened!
1. Eustace Complains

Eustace is flipping through the tv channels.Muriel is in the kitchen cooking up some tapioka, and Courage is sleeping in the kitchen.Muriel finishes making the it and calls out...  
  
Muriel: Tapioka! Its ready to eat!  
  
Eustace: Yuck! and what do you call that!  
  
Muriel: Its pudding, thats all.  
  
Eustace: What are you trying to do? Make me throw up my breakfast?!  
  
Courage smells it and backs away from the plate.  
  
Courage: I've seen worse, I'll try it!  
  
Eustace: Good, maybe that nasty stuff will kill ya dog! Ho ho ha ha!  
  
Muriel: Eustace! What did I tell you about table manners! Go out to the hen house again!  
  
Eustace: But it smells like the stupid dog in there!  
  
Muriel: Out! Now!  
  
Eustace grumbles and slams the door on his way out.  
  
Muriel takes a mouthfull of the tapioka.She spits it out quickly.  
  
Muriel: Eusatce was right! This tastes like its over the hill! I shouldn't try frying it next time! Nevermind Eustace! You can come back in now!  
  
Eustace: Works for me!  
  
Muriel: I'll fix up some eggplant!  
  
Courage: No!  
  
Muriel: Steamed Clams?  
  
Eustace: Yeah,yeah thats better.  
  
Eustace and Courage walk into the living room. Eustace starts flipping through the channels again. He sees a fishing show and starts to watch it.  
  
Katz: Hello, Want to catch bass the size of your sofa?  
  
Eusatce: Sure do!  
  
Courage: He believes anything!  
  
Muriel: Ok Eustace your clams are ready!  
  
Eustace: I'm not even hungry no more!  
  
Muriel: Come in and sit down or your tea will get cold  
  
Eustace walks into the kitchen carelessly and sits down in his usually chair and takes a good long stare at the tea.  
  
Eustace: I hate tea! Stupid tea! Sends me to the bathroom constantly! I already go enough already ! Bah! I going to the bakery for a real drink! Expresso!  
  
Muriel: Sorry Eustace its closed!  
  
Eustace picks up his cup of tea which has turned cold, he swallows it in one gulp and throws the cup on to the floor. It shatters.  
  
Eustace: Stupid tea! I showed it who's boss!  
  
Eustace leaves the kitchen and sits back in his chair to watch the fishing show. Courage shortly finishes his meal and tea. He goes upstairs on to the computer.  
  
Muriel: (relaxing) Ahhh...solitude, just me and my tea!  
  
Suddenly an explosion is heard from the living room, Muriel and Courage both react and starting running into the room to see what has gone wrong. Courage panics and yells out from the upstairs hallway.  
  
Courage: Muriel! Is everything alright?! 


	2. Side Effects Include

Muriel: Its not me! Its Eustace! There is a big whole in his stomach!  
  
Eustace: Don't just stare at it! Do something!  
  
Courage runs down the steps and screams at the digusting look of a missing stomach. He runs back up to the computer to get some infomation on this weird accurence.  
  
Computer: Yes Courage, what is it?  
  
Courage: (typing & saying) Farmer has big hole in stomach from something!  
  
Computer: He was playing with dynomite you twit!  
  
Courage: He ate and drank something?  
  
Computer: Now were getting somewhere! By the way do you have the recipe for blueberry crumb pie? My database erased it!  
  
Courage: No! Not now! Listen up now! She had tea and...  
  
Computer: What kind of tea? Green? Chai? Oh yes Chai is good! I like it better than RAM! Its spicer!  
  
Courage: Stay on task!  
  
Computer: (offended) Sorry! I thought we could relate with each other for once instead of being so right to the point and quickly turning me off!  
  
Courage: Very well...later ok! What should I do?  
  
Computer: Sounds like a case of tea poisoning!  
  
Courage: Never heard of it!  
  
Computer: Its obviously someone stalking around the house that poisoned the tea! According to some police reports symptoms are extreme rudeness,crying, or skipping.  
  
Courage turns the computer off and runs downstairs. He looks at Eustace and he is turned purple with orange spots on his forehead.  
  
Eustace: Hey Muriel what's enormously round and blocks my view form the tv?  
  
Muriel: Hmmm.. the ottoman?  
  
Eustace: Your bottom!  
  
Muriel: Eustace! Did you talk to your mother with that mouth?!  
  
Eustace: No, she taught me! She was the pioneer of today's comedy! Don't forget she had that show called I Love Ma! Ho ho ha ha!  
  
Muriel: We (Muriel's Family) didn't have cable back then, thank goodness!  
  
Eustace: Stupid dog why is he on the phone? He always is calling somewhere!  
  
Courage: What do you expect? If we live in Nowhere I got to call somewhere where they'll actually help!  
  
Muriel: He's calling for help, your sick Eustace face it!  
  
Eustace: I'm fine! Its just going to your heads!  
  
Muriel: (concerned) Oh no! If you talk about my tush there is surely something the matter with ya!  
  
Five minutes later there is a knock at the door. Eustace begins to look worse. His legs are starting to melt like wax to a flame, The guest enters the house.... 


	3. So Marvelous In Red

Freaky Fred walks in and shows Muriel his new Doctor degree.  
  
Muriel: Oh thats lovely! I always wanted a doctor in the family! I always knew you would pick a great profession!  
  
Eustace: Why didn't you pick farming! Stupid Freak! Doesn't anybody do what I do?  
  
Courage: Not really...  
  
Eustace gets mad at Courage and starts to stand up, but relizes he can't. He is melting even faster now, form the hips down he is just a blob of gray wax.  
  
Freaky Fred looks at Eustace and instantly notices what the problem is. Muriel stares hard at Fred & Eustace hoping all will be well.  
  
Fred: I need a liposuction machine!  
  
Eustace: I don't need that! I'm not fat! Can't you see! Maybe you should get your stupid eyes checked!  
  
Muriel: I don't know where you could find one Fred!? Check downtown Nowhere Medical Supplies.  
  
Fred gets in his car and drives downtown to the store. Doctor Vindaloo is working there and loans him the machine. Meanwhile Muriel,Courage, & Eustace wait for him.  
  
Muriel: Eustace you filled out your will didn't ya?  
  
Eustace: What are you gettin' at woman!  
  
Muriel: Well...this operation doesn't sound safe! Just making sure your arrangements are set!  
  
Courage: Maybe I can finally chew on his boots if he doesn't make it! What and I saying! Of coarse he'll make it!  
  
Fred ,almost out of breath, throws open the door and starts to suck the gray wax back into Eustace's body. Muriel & Courage watch closely as the operation is performed. Courage keeps Eustace's boots nearby dreaming of chewing on them.  
  
Muriel: I don't know what I would do if Eustace left, maybe I would throw a party!  
  
Ma opens the door and sits with Courage & Muriel as the operation is being performed.  
  
Ma: Yuck! That looks like the stuff Eustace spit up when he was a baby!  
  
Courage smells Ma's perfume and sneezes on her  
  
Courage: Achoo!  
  
Ma: Now look what you did! Stupid Dog!  
  
Muriel: He has feelings too you know!  
  
Ma: Bah! Shut up!  
  
Muriel takes Ma's hair off her head and puts it on her.  
  
Muriel: Oh my! (giggles) I look so marvelous in red! Don't you think Courage!  
  
Courage laughs and shakes his head. Ma becomes irritated and has had just about enough. Ma storms over to Fred to complain... 


	4. Ma in Rage, Tires Of Fire

Ma: What are you doing to me' son, exactly?!  
  
Fred: I'm refilling his body with the gray fluid thats trying to exit him, its a type of rare body rejection to a poison.  
  
Ma: Hey...(suspicious) wait a minute! Your the lunatic that shaved all my hair off with a chainsaw! How could you have ruined my beautiful blonde hair!  
  
Fred: Well you see...I was feeling.... naughty!  
  
Ma: Lets go into the kitchen we need to discuss something..eh..business! Business! That's right!  
  
Ma drags Fred into the kitchen. Muriel & Courage follow but Ma slams the kitchen door in their faces.  
  
Ma: No! Not you two! I need to talk to the freak...so scram!  
  
Ma throws Fred into the refrigerator and throws a lock around it. She starts to think about her awful plan.  
  
Courage walks outside and stands by the kitchen window to hear their conversation, Muriel sits by Eustace and comforts him. Courage hears Ma taking.  
  
Ma: That evil tea was supposed to get everyone who lives here! Its so toxic people melt to death within 24 hours.....  
  
Courage: Why hasn't Muriel gotten ill then?  
  
Eustace then starts getting worse, all remains is his head and the rest of his body sits melted on the floor. His face is an ugly brown with pink dots.  
  
Eustace: (weakly): Muriel...can you hand me the paper?  
  
Muriel: Sure anything you need Eustace!  
  
Eustace: Never mind I can't hold it anyway, my hands melted!  
  
Muriel: I'll read it to ya then!  
  
Eustace Nope! I like to read it too myself!  
  
Muriel: Suite yourself Eustace  
  
Muriel then trys to open the locked kitchen door, but she can't open it. At the same time Courage is trying to get into the kitchen through the window, and he gets in. Ma spots him and strangles him by the neck shaking him violently.  
  
Ma: Get out of here! Stupid dog! This is secret business! Were taking over your house! The tea will get all three of you not too much longer!  
  
Ma grabs Courage and throws him in the oven and turns it up to 400 degrees. Courage starts to worry that the whole house will be taken over by Ma Bagge. Muriel gives up on the locked door and runs outside in search of Courage.  
  
Muriel: Courage! Oh Courage! Where are ya!  
  
Muriel gets into Eustace's truck and drives dangerously fast to get to Dr. Vindaloo. Her speed is 349 mph and the tires are starting to burn from the friction.  
  
Muriel: Oh my goodness! The tires are smokin! I better stop!  
  
Muriel slams on the brakes and she flys through the windshield into a Dilly's Supermarket billboard. Dr. Vindaloo happens to be passing by in his car when he sees of Muriel's accident.  
  
Muriel: Help! Somebody help me! And can somebody help my husband !  
  
Dr. Vindaloo: Oh! Are you hurt Muriel!?  
  
Muriel: I'm fine! Just drive to my house! Help Eustace right away! He hasn't got much longer! Find my Courage! HURRY!  
  
Dr. Vindaloo drives off fastly to reach the Bagge's house. Muriel sits stuck in the billboard sign. The sun goes down, and the billboard's spotlights come on! Muriel starts to get sleepy and starts to act deliriously .  
  
Muriel: (insanely) Well I've always wanted to be in the spotlight! How lovely! If only I had a cup of tea!  
  
Dr. Vindaloo arrives at the farm, hoping its not too late to cure Eustace Bagge back to health and save Courage... 


	5. Cute Innocent Little Old Lady

Dr. Vindaloo climbs through the kitchen window from which Courage entered earlier. He sees nobody around, but hears a banging noise in the oven.  
  
Courage: Help! Somebody help me! I'll soon turn into a hot dog!  
  
Dr. Vindaloo opens the oven, and a heat exhausted Courage walks out. He is so hot he can bearly walk, and is panting heavily.  
  
Courage: (worried tone) Help the farmer! He's in there! In there!  
  
Dr. Vindaloo: You almost burned up boy! What is up with that? I'm going to go find the farmer, find the farmer now.  
  
Courage walks outside and cools himself off, meanwhile Vindaloo sees Eustace's face just laying on the sofa.  
  
Eustace: Oh! Its you! Help me stupid!  
  
Dr. Vindaloo: You'll be okay, there's nothing to worry about!  
  
Eustace: Bah! I always have somethin' to worry about!  
  
Dr. Vindaloo hears Ma approaching from upstairs and runs into the living room closet with Eustace's face. He prepares to perform the operation. Muriel still sits stuck in the billboard sign until the police spot her.  
  
Policeman: What are you doing! Vandalizing property are ya?  
  
Muriel: Oh no cousin Harrold! I got here by accident honest!  
  
Policeman: My name is not Harrold!  
  
Muriel: Your such a comedian Harrold! I get a kick out of ya every time!  
  
Courage goes back into the house, unlocks the fridge and releases Fred. He tells him to go in his car and find Muriel. Fred heads outside to the car. Courage enters the living room and there sits Ma on Eustace's chair.  
  
Ma: Get away from here! Where have you put my stupid son!  
  
The doorbell rings. Both freeze thinking who is going to answer the door first.  
  
Ma: You answer that! You'll get it!  
  
Ma throws Courage under the sofa cushion. She sits on the sofa. She yells out a cheerful "Come In!". The two enter the house. Muriel has been telling the policeman about the tea poisoning.  
  
Muriel: ....and she was the one who poisoned my precious tea!  
  
Policeman: Awww, she is just a cute innocent little old lady!  
  
Courage: No she is not!  
  
Ma jabs Courage in the face with her right high heeled shoe.  
  
Ma: I just love the police force! The men on it are always so handsome!  
  
Muriel: She's lying I tell ya! butterin' up!  
  
Policeman: Lets just have a look around the kitchen to double check... you know, just for a precaution.  
  
Ma: Oh sure officer! Be my guest!  
  
As Ma stands up, Courage (still under the sofa cushion) pulls the poison out of her pocket and it shatters on the floor.  
  
Policeman: Looks like you'll be going to jail miss, maybe on the way you can tell me about more of my flattering features!  
  
The policeman,Courage,Ma, & Muriel walk outside by the police car.  
  
Ma: I rather eat rotten pig's feet that were stuck in some wolf's teeth for three months, than ever date you!  
  
Policeman: Your as ugly as a three headed lemur, shut up and get in the car!  
  
The policeman stands by the right backdoor of the police car waiting for Ma to get in. He opens the door.  
  
Ma: Bah! Make me!  
  
Muriel hits Ma on the head with a steel rolling pin.  
  
Ma: Your not a caveman , you stupid woman! We have evolved beyond head beatings!  
  
Muriel: Well, if act like a three headed lemur. We'll have to treat you like one!  
  
Courage laughs at Muriel's joke.The policecar drives away. The two enter the house to find Eustace and Vindaloo. Just then they see a fully recovered Eustace. Dr. Vindaloo approaches Muriel.  
  
Dr. Vindaloo: The operation was a success! If Eustace feels any pain, just keep soaking what ever it may be! By the way, the operation is on the house.  
  
Muriel: Yes, we do have a lovely house. But it has its drawbacks like Benton Tarantella under the house and...  
  
Courage whispers to Muriel and explains what "on the house" means.  
  
Muriel: Thank you doctor, your such a caring dear ya are!  
  
Eustace: Hey! What happened to that stupid freak?  
  
Courage: Didn't he pick you up Muriel?  
  
Muriel: Oh dear! I hope he's not causing trouble!  
  
Dr. Vindaloo: Fred's a good barber, he's nothing to worry about, nothing at all! Good day now!  
  
Vindaloo leaves, Muriel sits in her usual chair. Then Eustace sits in his chair. Courage sits on Muriel's lap.  
  
Muriel: I wonder why I never got sick from the tea?  
  
Eustace: Cause your always stinkin lucky!  
  
Muriel: I guess I drink so much good tea all the time it fought out the bad tea.  
  
Eustace: That makes a lot of sense! I know why your tea didn't get ya! The tea you drank was the tea you had left over from last night! You served me the new batch!  
  
Muriel: Sorry Eustace, I never thought about the possibility of what has happened today.  
  
Eustace: That's ok Muriel, you try your best!  
  
Muriel: Aww Eustace your so sweet!  
  
Eustace: Lets go to bed, I know were all exhausted.  
  
Muriel: But first...how about some tea?  
  
Eustace: Of coarse! How could I forget!  
  
Eustace & Muriel go into the kitchen, Courage starts to clean up the poison that shattered on the floor.  
  
Courage: I guess Muriel's tea brings everyone together, that's why its so important!  
  
The End 


End file.
